Benefits of a Divorce Coach

If you have been reading about divorce, or perhaps if you know someone who has recently ended their marriage, you may have heard about divorce coaching. For most people, the concept of a divorce coach is unfamiliar—and maybe a little intriguing. What is a divorce coach, and who needs one?

What is a Divorce Coach?

Let’s start by clarifying what a divorce coach is not. A divorce coach is not someone who gives legal advice, diagnoses mental health disorders, or provides long-term therapy. Instead, a divorce is a life coach with a particular purpose: to help you navigate the transition of your divorce so you can make the decisions that will best serve you moving forward.

There’s no denying that even in the easiest divorces, emotions tend to run high. That can be especially true if you were blindsided by a spouse’s filing for divorce, or if your spouse cheated on you or otherwise betrayed you. However, even if the divorce was your idea, you may struggle with difficult emotions such as anxiety or guilt.

Regardless of how you came to your divorce, your divorce coach can help you process your emotions so they don’t become barriers; develop goals and empower you through this transition. Divorce can be overwhelming: your divorce coach can help you develop an action plan to get through it and enter the next chapter of your life with confidence.

How Much Does a Divorce Coach Cost?

The hourly rate for a divorce coach can range from under a hundred dollars to a few hundred dollars, depending on their experience and the geographic area in which they practice. Some coaches may offer fixed-fee packages for their services. But if you are hesitant to add another expense to the costs of your divorce by hiring a coach, here are two things to think about.

First, while many people can benefit from the services of a divorce coach, not everybody needs one. Second, if you do need the services of a divorce coach, the fees you pay your coach may still reduce the overall cost of the divorce by preventing you from running up unnecessary legal fees.

Reasons You Might Need a Divorce Coach

If you want the help and support of a divorce coach, you don’t need any more reason than that to hire one. However, if you find yourself in any of the following situations, you might want to give extra consideration to working with a coach through your divorce.

You feel overwhelmed by your emotions, and struggle to make even the simplest decisions in your divorce.

It’s natural to feel sad, angry, or anxious during your divorce. However, if you feel paralyzed by your emotions, or as if you can’t trust your own judgment, you may struggle to make decisions and keep the process moving forward. A divorce coach can help you identify your emotions and give you an objective perspective. He or she won’t make decisions for you, but will help you feel more confident making them for yourself.

You find yourself leaning on your attorney for emotional support.

Don’t worry—divorce attorneys are used to clients venting about their spouse (up to a point). But the reality is that your attorney is best equipped to do legal work, not emotional work. And since you are paying for your attorney’s time, it’s in your best interest to let her or him do what they do best: look after your legal interests. A divorce coach’s hourly rates are lower, and they are better equipped to provide you with emotional support than your attorney.

You have trouble speaking up for yourself.

Divorces, especially those involving contentious child custody battles or significant assets, tend to get complicated. It can be hard to understand what you need, and to ask for it, especially if you tend to back down in the face of opposition. A divorce coach can help you clarify disputed issues, understand what outcome you want, and role play with you so that you feel more comfortable speaking up for your needs—not only with your spouse, but perhaps even with your own attorney.

Your attorney recommends that you consider a divorce coach.

Chances are that your attorney has seen hundreds of people going through a divorce. If they recommend that you consider a divorce coach, there’s probably a good reason they think a coach’s services would be helpful to you. You can, of course, ask how your attorney thinks a divorce coach would be most helpful.

What are the Benefits of Working With a Divorce Coach?

As mentioned above, a divorce coach can actually save you money by keeping you from getting bogged down in your emotions and delaying the divorce or making it more contentious. Another way a divorce coach saves you money is by keeping you from relying on your attorney for emotional support.

There are other advantages to working with a divorce coach as well, such as simply helping you to feel less alone. One of the hardest things for many people going through divorce is working through decisions without the help of the partner they have always relied on. A divorce coach can give you an objective view of issues, help you talk through decisions in your divorce, and remind you that there’s someone on your side.

In addition, a divorce coach can keep you focused on your future. Many of the family and friends who serve as your support system are fiercely on your side, which is great. But in supporting you (and perhaps tearing down your spouse), they may unintentionally get you riled up in a way that’s not productive for you. In divorce, it’s important to pick your battles. Your divorce coach can help you decide when it’s important to stand your ground and when to let something go, for your own mental health. Divorce isn’t about punishing your spouse; it’s about creating the best future for yourself and your children.

Where Can You Find a Divorce Coach?

If you are interested in working with a divorce coach, the best place to start is by asking your attorney if he or she can make a recommendation. Likewise, if you know someone who used a divorce coach and was happy with their services, you might ask them for a referral. If you can’t get a recommendation from someone who has a personal or professional connection, you can consider websites like Certified Divorce Coach. If seeking a coach through a website, of course, review their qualifications and training; there are no licensing requirements for divorce coaches.

To learn more about divorce coaching or how to find a divorce coach in South Carolina, contact Brinkley Law Firm LLC to schedule a consultation.