How Do You Find a Surrogate?

Speaker: Stephanie Brinkley

Hi everyone. This is Stephanie Brinkley at Brinkley Law Firm. I'm a fertility and family law attorney in Charleston, South Carolina. Today, I want to talk to you about how to find a surrogate. For intended parents who come to me seeking legal guidance on surrogacy, the number one question I always get is how do you find a surrogate? The information on the internet is completely overwhelming and it can often be discouraging. So this is a very important conversation for me to have. There are three ways to find a surrogate. One is working with an agency, second using social media, and third, your family and friends.

If you decide to work with an agency to find a surrogate, you'll be in good hands. Agencies provide a Cadillac service. They evaluate candidates for you based on their medical background, their psychological background, and they even run criminal background checks. Additionally, agencies will evaluate the health insurance needs of your surrogate candidate. Also, when you're working with an agency, all the fees and costs are up front. So there are no hidden surprises. And when it comes to legal needs, they will introduce you to attorneys in your relevant state so that you have options for legal counsel.

The second way to find a surrogate, believe it or not, is on the web. Social media has become a popular forum for finding surrogates. There are Facebook pages, as well as online websites that cater to matching potential parents with surrogates. The benefit of working through social media to find your candidate is that you can control your costs more. Agencies provide a wonderful service, but they can often be expensive. So if you're on a tight budget, this is probably a better path for you to match. Now, the downside of it is that it may take longer for you to match, but the positive is the fees and costs that are associated with surrogacy are negotiable. There is no set rate of fees that you will have to pay. Everything is up for negotiation.

Additionally, you will need to keep in mind that you on your own, we'll have to investigate the health insurance needs of your candidate. This is why it is so important that you get with a fertility attorney early in the process, so you get the right guidance, you get the right advice, and you know the right questions to ask your potential surrogate.

The third way to find a surrogate is through friends and family. Now, that doesn't mean your best friend wants to be your surrogate, but she may know someone who has always wanted to give to a family to be that special woman who could bring a life into being for another deserving couple. If you're able to match through friends and family, the benefits are, it's more of an altruistic arrangement. In other words, there are no high expensive costs that are associated. It's more of a gratuitous reimbursement. And so, your costs are controlled. The other benefit is you can do a little bit of reconnaissance work on the surrogate because you have a third party that you are connected through. You can learn more about their personality, about their family, about their lifestyle choices. And that can be very important.

However, don't forget that when you're matching independently, you need to have good guidance in the beginning. And that is why it is so important to consult a fertility attorney who can tell you the right questions to ask, the right information to receive from the surrogate, and how to move forward in that process to have her qualified as a surrogate. The surrogacy process can be overwhelming and exciting at the same time. We work with all kinds of parents. We work with parents who have matched their agencies as well as independently. The most important point is come to our office early in the process so that we can give you solid information, re-insurance, and confidence. We want you to bring home your dream baby. For that reason, go to our website, request a consultation, and let's put together a strategy so we can build that family that you've always wanted.