What is Collaborative Divorce?

If you need to end your marriage, but you dread the fighting and conflict that often go along with a litigated divorce, you have options. One of them is Collaborative divorce. Collaborative divorce is a comparatively new divorce process imagined by Stu Webb, a Minnesota divorce lawyer who almost left the practice of family law because he could see that the hostility of litigated divorce damaged families (and burned out attorneys).

Instead, in 1990, he introduced a new way of divorcing: Collaborative divorce. Since then, tens of thousands of attorneys around the world have been trained in the process, and countless couples have ended their marriage in a more peaceful and dignified way. Collaborative divorce is a form of alternative dispute resolution (ADR), like mediation, although there are important differences between mediation and Collaborative divorce.

What is the Collaborative Divorce Process?

A traditional litigated divorce is an adversarial process. It starts with one spouse filing a lawsuit and serving it on the other spouse. From the beginning, the spouses are on opposite sides. Collaborative divorce is different. It begins with the spouses deciding together to work with attorneys trained in Collaborative divorce. Often, one spouse learns about the process first and introduces the other to the idea.

The spouses and their partners sign a participation agreement, in which the spouses agree to voluntarily disclose all relevant information and to negotiate fairly with each other. They are supported in doing so with their attorneys in a series of “four way” meetings. The attorneys pledge that if the Collaborative divorce process breaks down, neither of them will represent the spouses in litigation (since they might have an unfair advantage due to information learned in the Collaborative process).

The spouses meet separately with their own attorneys to identify their needs and goals before meeting together to negotiate in a four-way meeting. Often, there are other professionals involved in the process, each supporting the divorcing spouses in different ways.

These professionals may include a financial neutral, to help the couple understand their financial resources and needs; divorce coaches, who can help the spouses overcome issues that are interfering with a successful divorce process; and a child specialist, who serves as the voice of the couple’s children in the divorce process. Depending on who is involved, a four-way meeting may involve more than four people!

Once the couple and their Collaborative divorce lawyers have identified and resolved all issues in the divorce, the lawyers write up a settlement agreement for the spouses to sign. The couple may need to appear once in a courtroom for a brief hearing to finalize their divorce, but otherwise, Collaborative divorce takes place out of court. The Collaborative divorce lawyers advise the spouses when to file for divorce to minimize unwanted delays in having the divorce finalized.

Advantages of Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative divorce has many advantages over litigation. It encourages and rewards cooperation, so the divorce is almost always less contentious than a litigated divorce. That means less stress for the couple and their children during the process, and increases the likelihood that parents will be able to work together effectively and cordially as co-parents afterward.

The Collaborative divorce process also proceeds on the couple’s timeline—not the court’s. The divorce can unfold as quickly or slowly as the couple needs it to. Being able to control the pace of the divorce can help spouses feel more in control of this major life transition. The process takes place in a less formal, and much less intimidating, setting than a courtroom, and is driven by the divorcing spouses, not a judge.

Because the spouses have more control over not only the process, but the outcome, they tend to be more satisfied with the result of the divorce process. As a consequence, they are more likely to abide by the terms of their settlement, and less likely to seek changes to it.

The process also encourages open communication between the divorcing spouses. In a litigated divorce, spouses rarely apologize to each other; an apology can be seen as an admission of fault, and used against the apologizing party in court. Being able to communicate freely in a Collaborative divorce allows a spouse who has wronged their partner to apologize sincerely, and the wronged spouse to hear that the other spouse understands what they did and is genuinely sorry. Both spouses get some closure, which can help them move on from the divorce more easily.

Believe it or not, despite all the professionals involved, Collaborative divorce is often less expensive than litigation. That’s because it bypasses the discovery phase of litigation, in which parties seek volumes of information from each other through their attorneys. Requesting documents, taking depositions, and drafting dozens of written questions (then reviewing all that information) takes many hours. So does preparing for and participating in a divorce trial. Collaborative divorce may involve more professionals, but it is frequently more efficient.

Talk to a Collaborative Divorce Lawyer

Collaborative divorce can work for most couples, including couples who didn’t think they could have an amicable divorce. However, it is not for everyone. Couples in which there is a significant power imbalance, or in which both spouses are not fully committed to honest and fair negotiation, may do better with a litigated divorce.

To learn more about the Collaborative divorce process and whether it might be right for you, contact Brinkley Law Firm LLC to schedule a consultation.